Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Love Note

I got home from the gym with Mary today and I saw a note on my car!

I was hoping it was from a secret admirer.

I opened it up, and on the half-sheet of lined paper I read,

"Hi. If you like to

Sell this car

Green Honda Civic

please call me

(phone number)


No, I'm not interested in selling my car.

And also, please don't steal it.

Thank you.

Also, I got a new wallet today that is, according to my cousin Laura, "Totally you."

I'm sure you can imagine it.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

American Idol and Grandma

I always enjoy a good conversation about American Idol with my grandmother.

At dinner tonight I asked her if she had been watching the show and who she likes. She said, "Oh, I like that Afro American girl. She has a very good voice."

Mother says, "Her name is Lil. Lil Rounds."

Grandma, "Yes, well, you know all those Afro American girls, they all have good voices. You know Jessica Hudson?"

I just stare at her. Jessica Hudson? What?

Grandma continues, "Well she didn't win but she did real well for herself. The judges are mad, they don't want something like that to happen again."

Me, thinking, "Oh, Jennifer Hudson. And why are the judges mad, America did the voting, not the judges. Is there something else I don't remember?"

Grandma, "Well that Jessica sure is good, I bet that is why the judges are doing the "save" thing now. Where do you think Jessica got her start? Motown?"

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Asparagus and SFG

Today Marie brought over asparagus from her garden. Woot woot! First asparagus bunch of the season! I'm so excited. We are having them with dinner.

In other news, Mom has become obsessed with Square Foot Gardening. Well, maybe not obsessed, but she has convinced Dad it is the way to go. Mother doesn't remember how she heard about Square Foot Gardening. I tried to ask her when she knew that the SFG method was the right method for her, but she had no idea. She obviously needed some help, so she went to the Atascadero Library and ordered All New Square Foot Gardening, Grow More in Less Space! by Mel Bartholomew from the Blanchard Community Library in Santa Paula, California.

I don't even really know where Santa Paula is located.

While we were waiting for the book to arrive, Mother was saying how she wants everyone to have a certain amount of square feet to grow whatever they want. I knew my parents would grow the fruits and vegetables. So I decided on flowers and peanuts. Hopefully I have chosen flowers that will work well in vases. You know, flowers with long stems, none of this Impatients or Petunia business.

Also, I decided it was time to grow some peanuts. It turns out you just need a few raw peanuts, and you are good to go. Apparently, you plant them now, and then harvest them in the fall. I can't hardly wait. I had found directions for the SFG method, but Mom informed me that she didn't want my peanuts mingling with everything else, so they have been cast out of the raised beds and into a wine barrel!

I hope my peanuts don't taste like wine.

I picked up my seeds at the store yesterday after work and was planning on planting them today. At breakfast Mom and I were reading out loud interesting bits from the SFG book. I was doing some dishes when she suddenly reads a passage to me:

Looking through a seed catalog is not the best way to decide what to grow. They make it all look so good and sound so exciting that you can easily get carried away. I recommend you review your shopping list from last week and last month. That eliminates the "Oh, I'd like to grow that!" or "Wouldn't it be fun to grow peanuts?"

Mother nearly passed out laughing.

Just so you know, I planted my peanuts this morning.

Mel Bartholomew did not start as a gardener. He started as a civil engineer and as an efficiency expert. He's all about efficiency. He tosses out the old way of doing things, and comes up with better ways. I like him, I'm excited for our garden this year. While he was promoting this idea, a main point was to help children understand how to garden, and to encourage parents to garden with their children, bringing them closer together and to improve the family's diet.

The last two paragraphs of his book state:

Well, here I am, on my soapbox trying to solve worldwide problems when you just want to learn how to have a better garden in your yard. But what this book is all about it how SFG can reach and help so many more people.

That's the significant and imperative message I want to bring to the world. Will you help me? You can--by encouraging others to have an SFG. Get involved in your community or stretch your involvement to the entire world. Anyone, anywhere in the world can now have a small square meter garden right at their back door. The nutritional value of the children's diet will improve dramatically and step-by-step, as they expand their garden, that family will be closer to self-sufficiency and independence from government and private aid programs. You know the saying, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." The world hunger problem can never be solved until we help people help themselves, step-by-step, square-by-square. Then, maybe the saying will be, "Show a family how to Square Meter Garden, and they will feed themselves forever."

I don't mean to become obsessed with SFG, but I think it is an interesting idea. I can't wait to report on our experiences. I'll report on my peanut crop too, even though Mel is a hater.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Patriarchal Blessings

How often do you read your patriarchal blessing?

I probably read over mine about 3-4 times a year.

Look, I don't know.

I'm sick, and I'm really upset about it.

First off, I'd much rather NOT be sick. There are lots of things I would much rather be doing. Like, not passing out at work, not not getting a tan. I would also like to make sense. I get a little delirious when I'm sick, and I don't know if any of this will make sense. I'm willing to give it a try, though.

The other thing about me when I'm sick is my complete lack of control over my facial expressions. Usually, when I'm talking with someone, I can usually mask the fact that I'm thinking, "This person is an idiot," but when I'm sick, that just shows right up on my face. Usually, during a conversation when I'm feigning interest, I can pull it off pretty well. But when I'm sick, it's obvious that I stop listening. I've been known to walk away. I'm pretty sure I offended my Gospel Doctrine teacher one Sunday while at BYU-I. I don't think I even said anything. My face was saying enough. This is when I realized that perhaps I don't have control over my face while I'm sick.

On another Sunday that I was sick (but felt well enough to go to Church) I persuaded Tara to go home with me and make a sandwich during Sunday School. It was a great decision. I was starving. (It was like, 10:00 AM.) You may know that when I'm not properly fed, I get a bit crazy. Well, while I'm sick, my eating is all catawampus, so of course I get a bit crazy due to that. And add the crazy of being sick, and I guess I'm just an overall joy to be around.

I know I started this post with a "first off" and I'm not sure I have a "second" point to throw down.

I'm sick, okay?

Well, right now looks like a good time to tell you I attended a wedding this past weekend. I drove there and back with someone who had a cold (that punk) so I'm assuming I got it from her.


Anyway, Abe and Isabelle got married, and all I can say is Thank God. Like, for realz. This was her dream, and she was undaunted in the quest. So, I am sincerely glad she has found someone.

I chose that picture because Isabelle is showing off her fancy red shoes. The more I think about my wedding shoe choice, the more I realize that I can't come up with a shoe that I like. My foot doesn't look that fabulous in anything too strappy, and all of the white heels I've seen that are not strappy look rather old-fashioned. (Like, 1980's old-fashioned.) I'm not into that.

So, while driving back from the temple on Saturday, I made my decision: I will wear flats. I can easily find some cute flats. Piece of cake. Wedding cake.

Also while driving back from the temple I planned out my entire wedding. Well, kind of. A few things are up in the air of course, but the basic idea is there. I would tell you all about it, but I don't want you married folks telling it to your non-married friends, and I don't want you unmarried peeps to steal my idea. (I almost let it slip, because I'm sick, and my defences are down, but I caught myself just in time.)

Also, I realized that I usually get a cold in the spring time. That is lame. But perhaps it is better than getting a cold around Christmas, like so many other people I know.


Sunday, March 22, 2009

Not my best reporting, but it will do.

I think Marie beat her own record tonight. The meal started as normal with everyone trying to get Marie's food to her first. I tossed around the idea of competing with Marie, but decided I wasn't in the mood. This was a good decision.

Mary wasn't present for most of dinner, but she showed up just as Mom and Grandma had finished eating, I was nearing the end, and Dad was going for seconds. Marie, of course, was still eating with no end in sight.

Mary loaded up her plate, ate at the regular speed, finished her meal, and Marie still had not finished her dinner.

After Mary was done, we waited an additional 4 minutes for Marie to finish up. It was outstanding.

Thursday, March 19, 2009


I love my cousin Mary, but she just spoke during the last little bit of The Office.

I am seriously reconsidering my relationship with her.

Pulse is Rushing

While the troops were visiting, Elle and I hung out in the backyard a bit. Somehow she ended up pushing me on the swing. She did a great job.

We also played Ticket to Ride, my favorite game. It was Jodie's first experience with Ticket, so we didn't try any variations. She did a pretty good job her first couple of times, I think.

Boy, I do love a good game of Ticket. My pulse is rushing just thinking about it.

It's March

Seeing how it's March, and seeing how the parents wanted to revamp the garden this year, it was time to get started. Mom and I have been helping Dad a little bit. Whatever we help Dad with usually ends up a competition. It's great fun. I love the outdoors.

We helped Dad with this box:

And, a new addition to our garden will be this wine barrel:
Which happens to really smell of wine. I guess this makes sense, but it was still a surprise to me.

Here we have Father surveying the holes we put in the wine barrel:

And, as a nice reminder that it is Spring (because you can't see the tan I'm getting) I included some pictures of our pear tree:

The thing about the beautiful blossoms on all blossoming trees are the bees that accompany them. I think that bees are essential to this world, but still, when I hear them buzzing right above my head, it freaks me out a little bit.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Smack Talk

During the visit with family, we had a little competition. The goal was to be the fastest person to finish this puzzle:

Now, don't be telling me I'm lame because it's a Hello Kitty puzzle. That thing was hard. Those raindrops and trees are killer. Plus, it doesn't help that Hello Kitty's face and half the clouds are the same.

We competed three times, and here are our results:

Round 1) 13:36
Round 2) 10:20
Round 3) 9:19

Round 1) 14:04
Round 2) 11:05
Round 3) 9:52

Round 1) 15:55
Round 2) 15:04
Round 3) 14:08

Round 1) 15:44
She had no other rounds. Actually, she joined us on the third round, but it was her first round, so I wasn't sure how to record her score.

But anyway, I was proud of my performance, and I'm also pretty sure Jodie kind of had the advantage because she is 1) more familiar with Hello Kitty and 2) had helped the girls put together the puzzle in between rounds.

Yeah, that's right. I'm talkin' smack.

Friday, March 13, 2009


I am tired of this vegetarian thing. What does it even mean? People have so many different stipulations on what "vegetarianism" means to them, I can't hardly figure it out. In my brain, it seems to be a law that people follow, not just dietary guidelines. When I was younger, vegetarian meant someone who didn't eat meat and also didn't wear leather and hated everyone who did wear leather.

I am tired of people who are vegetarian thinking they are superior than the common meat eaters. I have an acquaintance who is not an out-right vegetarian, but she likes to order garden burgers at hamburger places, and then talk all about how wonderful she is for getting a garden burger. It pisses me off. Why don't you just order a garden burger and get over it already? I don't brag about how my hamburger is an actual hamburger and not a fake one. I don't brag because I don't care.

I am tired of people assuming I am vegetarian because I decide I don't want to eat meat for a meal. I hate going out to dinner with friends and ordering something that happens to be vegetarian and then being bombarded with questions about my non-meat entree choice. Now, if I chose something vegetarian and you want to make fun of me a little, that's okay. But I'm talking friendly banter here, not an invite to a throw-down. And just because I'm listening to my body and it doesn't want meat doesn't mean I'm some sort of meat-eater-traitor, and don't assume I've given up tri-tip just because every meal you see me eat has no meat. It just means that I want to get my protein from other sources. So, get over it.

I have often been sitting in the break room at work, eating my lunch, which usually consists of leftovers from dinner the night before, and someone will come in and take a look at my food. They will see the lentil soup, the quinoa, the vegetables, the stir fry. They will peer at my lunch, smile, and say, "So, trying to eat healthy? Are you going vegetarian or something?"

This make me mad. First off, they clearly interrupted me while I was reading my book. Second, stop analyzing my food choices, and third, "Trying"? What does that mean? That I have no control whatsoever over what I put in my mouth? Usually I am just sitting in lard, licking it off my fingers?! And THANK GOODNESS Myriah is finally eating a vegetable!
Look, I don't need you to cheer for me when I eat a vegetable.

And then we must battle with the casualties of being a woman, and how it is assumed and accepted that every woman craves chocolate at all times, gives into the craving and instantly gains weight right where she doesn't want it. So, because I'm a woman, people assume I have a hard time wanting to, and succeeding in, eating healthy foods. What jerks.

I'm tired of people thinking that just because I'm not a proclaimed vegetarian it must mean that I will eat anything under the sun. This is not the case. I will not eat anything that is thrown my way. Are you kidding me? There are many things I don't want to eat. Why do the vegetarians get the special consideration? What about the meat eaters who don't eat that much meat? What about the lactose intolerant of the world? What about them?

Okay, I got a little carried away there with the lactose comment, but whatever.

I think vegetarian should be capitalized. So I'm going to start. I like Vegetarians who don't shove it down your throat that they are Vegetarian and you are not, and they lead a hard (and better) life because of it. I have a friend who is Vegetarian. I didn't know she was Vegetarian for months after I met her. This is probably because she is cool. This is also probably because I didn't dissect her diet, she didn't dissect mine, and when we were making sandwiches, she simply didn't put any turkey on hers, and I never really noticed because it turned out I don't care, and she didn't mention it because it turns out she didn't care either. I like her.

So I've mentioned I don't like it when people talk about my food, and I don't want you to think I hate food discussions. To be (hopefully) clearer, I don't like it when people take it on themselves to analyze my food decisions, but I do enjoy a good conversation discussing the positive and negative effects of food on our lives and our bodies. I enjoy talking about the way different people deal with, and use food in their lives. I enjoy talking about recipes and cooking tips.

And now, I'm going to go enjoy a bowl of ice cream. Or a cone. Ohh.... yeah, a cone!

Monday, March 9, 2009

The Tunnel

To celebrate the extra daylight, Mary and I took a walk to see the remains of the thrift store that had burned down on Friday night.

I tried to get Mary to climb the fence and pick up those highlighters, but she wouldn't do it.

To get to the thrift store, we went through "The Tunnel" and on our way back decided to take some pictures.

Here I am with Einstein. I'm throwing down the peace sign because Einstein is my man.

But Mary hates Einstein.

In fact, she got so ticked that she kicked the wall and it all started to crack.

That's Mary for you, though. Always super tough and mean. I wouldn't want to cross her in a dark alley.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Correct Time

Perhaps one of my favorite parts about Daylight Saving Time is when all the old ladies (Grandma and Marie) bring their watches and clocks with them to dinner so that Dad can set them to the correct time.

Warning: Cute

I'm posting a bunch of cute pictures I took while my nieces were visiting, so if you hate cute, then you can skip this post.

Well, the first picture is of me and Wade. Not super cute, but I thought I might ease you into it.

The day of our Children's Museum trip I played with puzzles with the girls.

Elle and I decided to do a little photo shoot.

She apparently takes after her Grandmother with all the waving around of the hair before the photo.

But the waving around of the head always produces excellent results.

She looks smashing, no?

The girls wanted to do something super silly, so they put puzzles on their heads.
(BTW, these are my favorite puzzles to play with. They are so cool.)

Please note the cool trick that Elle has accomplished: puzzles on head without hands.

I don't remember what Elle was exactly doing in this picture, but the Wades are in the background, so that is cool.

And, as a special bonus to the day, we all painted our fingernails!
I wonder if one of those girls will end up having a short thumb like me.

Happy Birthday, Wicka Wicka!

Happy Birthday, Marissa!

I hope all your dreams come true.
Well, only the good dreams. I'm not sure if you have weird dreams or not, but I wouldn't want to accidentally wish them on you.

Okay, so I included these pictures to show off your many talents, and also to show how fast your hair grows. The first picture was taken in August 2007, and the last picture was taken at Christmas 2008.

I wish I had a picture of you playing rock band to add to this group. You'll notice I did not include any pictures of you with Audrey because she is such a scene stealer.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

An Exhilarating Experience

While the Pittsburgh Cohens were visiting, we went to the Children's Museum which happens to be a lot of fun for adults as well.

While we were there we became fire fighters. The concept was a little difficult for the girls, and they certainly need to practice their game faces. Jodie and I had no problem throwing down our game faces, however.

Please note that this is a real-life San Luis Obispo City Fire Dept hat/helmet thing. The legitimacy of it is rockin'.

While at the Children's Museum, we found Bubblegum Alley, and also Uncle Paul's car.

Elle turned into a lopsided Monarch,

Mother became a biker,

The girls patrolled the streets with a vengeance,

and we also became Conductors of a train.

Knowing this would make an adorable picture, I asked the girls to turn around and look at Aunt 'riah.

Elle turned around,

then The Bryners posed for me. I suppose they thought I had asked them to turn around one at a time.

Also in the train room was this super cool table with a hole in the middle, perfect for popping up out of!

You may be starting to think that this was quite a busy day. But we weren't finished yet. We had plans to pick up Wilma that afternoon. (Side note: Wilma no longer lives with us. I don't want to talk about it.) As it turns out, Wilma was at a kennel out Creston Road in Paso. We start driving through the rolling hills, past wineries, past horses, past cows, and pretty soon we notice an increase in human activity. People had come out of their houses and were gathering at the side of the road. People in lawn chairs, people in truck beds, people standing and walking around. At street intersections we see police cars. Pretty soon it hits us that we were driving the route of the Amgen tour of California!

We knew it was happening of course, but we didn't think we would be able to see it. So, we found the kennel and then waited for Lance Armstrong at the side of the road.

We waited for what felt like a very long time. Lots of police cars came zooming by. And each time one would come, we would think the cyclists would be right behind them. After about a million fake-outs, they really did come! And it was so cool!

Please notice how close we were. I kept thinking I could reach out and touch one of them. And cause an accident. Or, I thought they might roll right over my foot. It was quite an exhilarating experience, thinking of all the possibilities.

This guy looks tired. But look how close we were! Also, what kind of fancy booties do cyclists wear?

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Nothing Is Happening

I am a terrible unpacker. If I can swing it, I will come home from a trip, throw my bag on the floor and leave it there for about a week and a half until I finally get around to unpacking.

The thing about unpacking is the washing that accompanies it. I wash everything, even if I didn't wear it. Somehow it all ends up smelling a little off, so I must wash it. I don't quite understand this, but I know it is a fact and must deal with it. My form of dealing is ignoring.

Anyway, I was just cousin, house, horse, and dog sitting for the past 4 days, and after lugging in everything I had in the car I am currently ignoring it all and writing this post.

I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. I got as far as unzipping my bag. I keep looking over at it while I type, hoping that it will take care of itself.

But... sigh.... nothing is happening.