Friday, March 13, 2009


I am tired of this vegetarian thing. What does it even mean? People have so many different stipulations on what "vegetarianism" means to them, I can't hardly figure it out. In my brain, it seems to be a law that people follow, not just dietary guidelines. When I was younger, vegetarian meant someone who didn't eat meat and also didn't wear leather and hated everyone who did wear leather.

I am tired of people who are vegetarian thinking they are superior than the common meat eaters. I have an acquaintance who is not an out-right vegetarian, but she likes to order garden burgers at hamburger places, and then talk all about how wonderful she is for getting a garden burger. It pisses me off. Why don't you just order a garden burger and get over it already? I don't brag about how my hamburger is an actual hamburger and not a fake one. I don't brag because I don't care.

I am tired of people assuming I am vegetarian because I decide I don't want to eat meat for a meal. I hate going out to dinner with friends and ordering something that happens to be vegetarian and then being bombarded with questions about my non-meat entree choice. Now, if I chose something vegetarian and you want to make fun of me a little, that's okay. But I'm talking friendly banter here, not an invite to a throw-down. And just because I'm listening to my body and it doesn't want meat doesn't mean I'm some sort of meat-eater-traitor, and don't assume I've given up tri-tip just because every meal you see me eat has no meat. It just means that I want to get my protein from other sources. So, get over it.

I have often been sitting in the break room at work, eating my lunch, which usually consists of leftovers from dinner the night before, and someone will come in and take a look at my food. They will see the lentil soup, the quinoa, the vegetables, the stir fry. They will peer at my lunch, smile, and say, "So, trying to eat healthy? Are you going vegetarian or something?"

This make me mad. First off, they clearly interrupted me while I was reading my book. Second, stop analyzing my food choices, and third, "Trying"? What does that mean? That I have no control whatsoever over what I put in my mouth? Usually I am just sitting in lard, licking it off my fingers?! And THANK GOODNESS Myriah is finally eating a vegetable!
Look, I don't need you to cheer for me when I eat a vegetable.

And then we must battle with the casualties of being a woman, and how it is assumed and accepted that every woman craves chocolate at all times, gives into the craving and instantly gains weight right where she doesn't want it. So, because I'm a woman, people assume I have a hard time wanting to, and succeeding in, eating healthy foods. What jerks.

I'm tired of people thinking that just because I'm not a proclaimed vegetarian it must mean that I will eat anything under the sun. This is not the case. I will not eat anything that is thrown my way. Are you kidding me? There are many things I don't want to eat. Why do the vegetarians get the special consideration? What about the meat eaters who don't eat that much meat? What about the lactose intolerant of the world? What about them?

Okay, I got a little carried away there with the lactose comment, but whatever.

I think vegetarian should be capitalized. So I'm going to start. I like Vegetarians who don't shove it down your throat that they are Vegetarian and you are not, and they lead a hard (and better) life because of it. I have a friend who is Vegetarian. I didn't know she was Vegetarian for months after I met her. This is probably because she is cool. This is also probably because I didn't dissect her diet, she didn't dissect mine, and when we were making sandwiches, she simply didn't put any turkey on hers, and I never really noticed because it turned out I don't care, and she didn't mention it because it turns out she didn't care either. I like her.

So I've mentioned I don't like it when people talk about my food, and I don't want you to think I hate food discussions. To be (hopefully) clearer, I don't like it when people take it on themselves to analyze my food decisions, but I do enjoy a good conversation discussing the positive and negative effects of food on our lives and our bodies. I enjoy talking about the way different people deal with, and use food in their lives. I enjoy talking about recipes and cooking tips.

And now, I'm going to go enjoy a bowl of ice cream. Or a cone. Ohh.... yeah, a cone!


Dark Horse said...

Is that ice cream made from cow's milk? Cow's milk is so bad for you. You should only eat milk shakes made from soy milk from Mountain People's Warehouse that comes in those sweet foil packaging.

Ky said...

If I remember correctly, we are supposed to eat meat sparingly. And I know I'm remembering correctly, so clearly you are spot on with your meat consumption.

I think Vegetarians should be Vegetarians all the way, or not claim to be Vegetarians at all. If you eat any meat, even a few times a year, you are not Vegetarian. You are just someone who doesn't eat very much meat.

Just like if you say you never drink, but you still drink on "special occasions."

It's all the way or nothing, baby.

Mark said...

Man, food choices are like religions. I'm surprised wars haven't been started over them. If you ever want to see me angry, just make fun of what I'm eating while I'm eating it. You could make fun of what I eat when I'm not eating it and I'll be fine, but while I'm eating it? I'll rip your head off.

There is some really interesting psychology behind the way people act regarding and responding to food choices.

Tara said...

I'm glad you're sticking up for the lacto's in all your rage! I too think it's stupid to care some much about how another person eats, unless it's just for interest. I think some vegan dishes are great, some vegetarian dishes are great, and some meat dishes are great. Cant we just live and let live?