Nevah Gonna Happen

I've been making this crazy effort to be more social. I don't mean that my effort is crazy, I mean that it is a crazy idea to think that if I become more social, I will meet more people, which will open me up to more opportunities, which will lead to a man who is really cool, funny, and taller than me who wants to date me.

For example, I have started going to FHE.

We were all sitting in a circle, waiting for things to begin, and I was suffering through a conversation about the Soviet Union and the Berlin Wall. As you know, if there is anything lovely, of good report or praiseworthy, I will take scrupulous notes to share with my dear friends and family later.

But there was nothing. Just people nerding out on the Soviet Union. And, unfortunately, that just isn't my cup of tea. It does not set my heart aflutter. I find it... boring.

I'm in a wasteland.


I got back from FHE tonight, looked at Nelly and said, "I'm never getting married."

I told her my Soviet Union/Berlin Wall/Historical woes, and she said, "You can get an information app or something for your phone next time."

"Uh, the issue is not keeping up with the topic, the issue is my severe lack of interest in joining the conversation."

The lack of interest was so intense that I contemplated leaving before FHE had even begun. I had this feeling like I needed to get out immediately or I would hate myself for the next 12 hours. It's this horrible panic attack that happens when things get too nerdy.


Anyway, another example:

A few months ago I was at an FHE at my Branch President's house. They had recently moved in, and needed help moving something. The Branch Pres comes in to the room and asks for any strong volunteers. Out of 6 guys, only one raised his hand.

Why, you ask? Because they all know that their skills do not lie in lifting things. They know they are scrawny.

It made me sad.

That was a few months ago. I was hoping things might get better, but these past three days proved to me that it most certainly will not get better, and that it's nevah gonna happen.

Squeak

It was a lovely afternoon. It was very unseasonably warm for Chicago. I got home from Church and found a quiet and peaceful house. Perfect, I had some things I needed to work on.

After about 45 minutes I decided it was time for some food, so I scrounged around in the fridge and found my left overs from last night's Kuma's Corner. So good. Just as I was about to put it in the microwave, Nelly comes out of her room and says, "Do you hear that?" I look at her and ask, "Um, the microwave? Cause I hear that."

"No," she says, "the chirping."

I was quiet for a second. Then I moved my foot and the floor squeaked. I looked at her questioningly. She shook her head.

Then I heard it. A chirp. And again. And again. What was that? After some ridiculous brainstorming and a bit of fun, we decided that maybe we had a bird in the house? I told Nelly that I was going to look for it. Good thing I had my head lamp.

After I told Nelly to close all the doors to the kitchen, she made sure to close herself out of the kitchen. I guess she doesn't like things flying at her. I checked the cabinet it was coming from and didn't find anything. I moved the fridge and didn't find anything, except a bunch of dust. So I got out the broom and started sweeping up. My broom swept under the cabinet and caught on a spider trap. I knelt down to see what else was down there, and I saw another sticky trap. With a mouse!

Squeak.

Ugh.

Alive.

Alive and crying for his life.

In the basement there are glue traps, and they are filled with spiders. I figured that is what these contraptions are: spider catchers. Spiders don't cry as they starve and won't smell after death.

Mice do.

What was I going to do?

Squeak.


Ugh, this is horrible.

I decided I would report to Nelly.

She informed me that these traps are intended to catch mice.

What? Seriously? This is a thing? It is horrible! It is horrible for the mouse, it is horrible for me, and it is horrible for the person I am going to call to exterminate. Where is Jesse Katsopolis the First Season when I need him?

Squeak.

Oh, Jesse.

I have a home teacher named Jesse. Maybe he is available to help me out.


Squeaaaaaaal.

I called him immediately.

Squeak.

Jesse answered but he wasn't able to come over for 2 hours.

Squeal!!

I told him I looked forward to his coming.

I got off the phone, reported to Nelly, and then we heard the mouse squealing, squeaking, and crying.

My stomach dropped.

We couldn't wait two hours. There was no way I could sit there and listen to the painful and slow death of that mouse.

Ugh, so gross.

Then I remembered Matt! He lives around the corner, and most importantly he is online.

I picked up my computer:

3:17 PM me: Matt!

 Matt: Myriah!

 me: are you at home? do you have a minute to come over here and save me from the mouse we found on the spider sticky trp thing in our kitchen????

3:18 PM Matt: haha the mouse stuck in the trap? So you just need the mouse thrown out/

  ?

3:19 PM me: yes, but the mouse is alive. and squeaking. but he can't move

  cause he's stuck and wining

  and i can't handle it

3:21 PM Matt: ok im on my way

 me: bless your heart

  and i'm googling processes

3:22 PM Matt: im thinking shoe

3:24 PM wait

  bat!

Please note the pause when Matt realized he is going to have to kill a mouse. I like to think that he is just asking his wife if he can come over, and not just pausing because he doesn't actually want to kill a mouse. 
Please also note that I can't manage to format this after I cut and copied the chat. 
Nelly and I waited in suspense for about 8 minutes, 2 of which were spent googling processes, and let me tell you: DO NOT DO THAT. It is a horrible part of the internet that nobody needs to see. 
Matt shows up, bat in hand, and I lead him to the area of death. I inform him there are also some bricks if he needs them. We open all the doors to the back yard, I give him a plastic bag, and then, brave soul, he grabs the mouse, takes it to the back yard, and I went to the living room to pray. 
He came back, and handed us less horrible mouse traps. "Here," he said, "use these next time."
Will do, Matt, will do. And also, thank you for saving us. 


  

Man Made

The Rexburg temple is nearing completion. They just have to landscape, I think.
Supposedly, the temple will open in October, but nobody has sent me out an official email or anything.
About a year ago, the Idaho Falls temple opened it's door for walk in baptisms. Prior to that, you had to drag about 5 men out of their beds before 6:30 in the morning to do baptisms if you didn't have an assignment.
But, for the past year, i was able to go do baptisms every Friday at a normal hour, without finding men and dragging them along.


This is the baptistery entrance. They put up that doorbell sign about 4 months ago... apparently, no one could ever find the doorbell.



The 'mates.
Actually, left to right: Shalyn went home for the rest of the summer (home is 2 hours away) so we aren't actually roommates when we took this picture. Jenna was just visiting, and had moved out for the summer, which was in April. Then me of course, and Kathleen is going home tonight. Moving out of my room. It is so sad. But she is putting in her papers, so that is good.

i don't know why i took this crooked picture. I should have taken a straight one.





The Falls. I know... stunning...
Apparently, Idaho Falls was originally called Eagle Rock, after an Eagle was seen sitting on a Rock.



The name was changed after they made these Falls for energy harnessing.

The DAM Run

The Teton DAM run is a pretty big deal here in Southeastern Idaho.
We originally signed up to be volunteers, because all the volunteers get these really great orange shirts that say "DAM volunteer" on the back, a highly coveted item.
We didn't get shirts. Apparently, our shirts are on their way, but we didn't get to wear them at the race. Because of this, we used the word "dam" with as much vigor as possible for most of the day.
You'll find other people enjoy the use of "Dam" too.
One early runner, who was not in the race, but just cruising by...(we were in the middle of Sugar City... look at it thriving...)




oh yeah, the runner who was just out for a jog looked thirsty, so we offered him some water... and he said, "I don't want your Dam water,"
and then other runners would say, "Where are your Dam shirts?"
or, "Please give me some of that Dam water... do you have Dam Gatorade?"
And later, there was kinda a party at the park for the runners and family and people would say, "This is a pretty good Dam party."

People just go wild for the Dam Marathon.
I'm fairly certain that the runners would think of witty "dam" things to say when they passed us... We heard some good stuff.

Hatchet day

For FHE this week, we had a campfire and roasted hot dogs and had s'mores. It was really a lot of fun. The guys were in charge, but they didn't have any kindling. They did have some cardboard, and they had some wood, so out came the pocket knives and a hatchet.



"A hatchet?!!" you say? Yes, a hatchet.

"Hey dad, i totally forgot to pack my hatchet when i came up to school, would you mind sending it to me? Thanks."



Kathleen was in charge of lighting the fire.
It took about 957 matches before the flame became FIRE.








After a slow start, the fire remembered that it wanted to be FIRE, so it got to business and began to BURN. (P.S. if you want to see a kinda funny accident, sacrilegious photo concerning this fire and some wood, let me know.)


Kathleen thinks hatchets are funny. This is a grave mistake: Hatchets are not funny, not funny at all.

Idaho

This is the snake river. Idaho is semi pretty only in the summer. Some people may argue that it is pretty in the winter, but i don't notice it. I am usually overwhelmed by the frigid temperatures, treacherous icy walks to school with the wind blowing me around on the sidewalk and the general depression i get in the winter to notice anything kinda pretty.

A field.



Me and the field. (this is all Idaho is. I would show another really great landscapy picture, but it would just be another field. In the winter they are brown and dirty white.)



A creepy old house next to an Idaho field.


This road is called Pole Line Road. And it really is very very straight. It goes forever. So i took a picture of Kathleen, and then i thought, "Hey, this road is rarely used, and i have a timer on my camera, i want to be in the picture too." So i set up my camera, and just as we run down and get posed, this truck comes barrelling around the corner onto Pole Line Road, apparently oblivious to my car with it's hazard lights and us in the street. Anyway, we had to sprint after the camera, and we got there barely in time. But we got a cool picture out of it. It was my favorite one that night.

Wheat and Skulls

When we were growing up, Mom liked to grind wheat. I would often find myself waking up to the grinder noise, and in the coming days find myself face to face with a wheat pancake. They were disgusting. Absolutely the worst thing ever. I couldn't understand what people were talking about when they spoke favorably about pancakes.
I think i was about 13 when i discovered that not all pancakes are nasty, i just happened to grow up with the nasty kind. To this day i hold no grudge on the pancake community, for i now know there are good amongst the evil, just trying to fight for their yumminess for the benefit of all man kind.
A few days ago i heard the familiar wheat grinder, as my roommate makes homemade bread every once in a while. I came down the stairs and discovered that my roommate had made me a wheat pancake, her favorite (somehow), weighing about 10 pounds and full of little pieces of wheat. I tried to eat it, but i got tired and bored. It filled me up after three bites. I ended up making an "M," and finishing it after a little break. I didn't eat for two days afterword.






Oh, also i got these really great skull shoes.

I can't

Last week Kathleen, Greg and I set goals for each other. For one of Kathleen's goals, we decided she should cook a meal for us. (She never cooks, except for sandwiches which don't count.) Anyway, she did a great job and went all out... decorated the place and everything. She even had lovey music in the background.
It was so romantic, except for the part that was Greg... he is so not romantic... i keep looking at my watch tan, which is much darker than yesterday.... just check out the pictures...








Kathleen can do this really great trick where she stands over the stairwell.


I can't.

Winter Semester Highlights

Oh man, i am so glad finals are over. School is hard. I don't know if anyone has ever told you that, but school is pretty hard.
As most of you know, i was sick for about the last month of my existence, which was very unfortunate. I was kind of a zombie. But somehow i managed to do okay, because when i got my grades back for last semester, i had 4 A's and 3 B's! And when i saw that on the computer i realized that is a whole heap of classes and it's no wonder my immune system needed a break.

Anyway, it's not like last semester was no fun at all, in fact, it was a whole heap of fun. Here are a few highlights that i may not have previously mentioned:


Kathleen turned 21 at the end of February. We celebrated with virgin margaritas, virgin jello shots and karaoke. We are really always celebrating with karaoke.


One night Stacy London had her hair in curls. The next day my roommates had my hair in curls. It was kind of a big day for me.

Another karaoke night. We had about 10 people there, and we did it on our back porch so we could have a stage. I know you don't know that there were more people there, because they are not in the picture, but i figured Tara and i looked the best, so you get a picture of us.

Side-Pony Sunday.



FHE talent show. Kathleen and Jenna made up a song about our apartment. It was really really lovely and very very unexpected.



This is Patrick, our one FHE brother. He's trying to woo us on the guitar under the pretense of sharing a talent.



We aren't easily wooed. I'm sick in the picture. I was kinda in a daze, and didn't share a talent. It was highly unfortunate.



Tara and Shalyn singing "Step Sister's Lament." It was beautiful.



Ladies Night Out. Our last night together. It rocked. I believe that was due mostly to our awesome matching T-shirts.

Sweet Face

Well, on Tara's birthday, of which i have not mentioned yet on my blog, but will soon, we decided to take pictures of "sweet faces." These pictures were taken on Tara's birthday, so that should explain the crowns, but if you still don't understand the crowns, well..... You simply have not had a really great birthday. I'm sorry.
If you look closely, you will notice my crown has Belle on it. I'm pretty lucky.

I think Tara's Sweet Face is the best. Mine is pretty good. But Jenna.....We aren't sure if she quite grasped the concept. We have tried other facial expressions with her, and they just aren't working. But we won't give up. We are hoping for an "angry face" by the end of the semester.

Because of new goals

Well, because of my new work out goals, (i think) my lower back hurt real bad. Thankfully, i have a massage therapist roommate. I guess this is what massage therapists do. They stand on you. But it worked, and thank goodness.
I tried to persuade her to let me grab her arms, and then we could be a circle and do semi-somersaults. She didn't go for it.