Nevah Gonna Happen

I've been making this crazy effort to be more social. I don't mean that my effort is crazy, I mean that it is a crazy idea to think that if I become more social, I will meet more people, which will open me up to more opportunities, which will lead to a man who is really cool, funny, and taller than me who wants to date me.

For example, I have started going to FHE.

We were all sitting in a circle, waiting for things to begin, and I was suffering through a conversation about the Soviet Union and the Berlin Wall. As you know, if there is anything lovely, of good report or praiseworthy, I will take scrupulous notes to share with my dear friends and family later.

But there was nothing. Just people nerding out on the Soviet Union. And, unfortunately, that just isn't my cup of tea. It does not set my heart aflutter. I find it... boring.

I'm in a wasteland.


I got back from FHE tonight, looked at Nelly and said, "I'm never getting married."

I told her my Soviet Union/Berlin Wall/Historical woes, and she said, "You can get an information app or something for your phone next time."

"Uh, the issue is not keeping up with the topic, the issue is my severe lack of interest in joining the conversation."

The lack of interest was so intense that I contemplated leaving before FHE had even begun. I had this feeling like I needed to get out immediately or I would hate myself for the next 12 hours. It's this horrible panic attack that happens when things get too nerdy.


Anyway, another example:

A few months ago I was at an FHE at my Branch President's house. They had recently moved in, and needed help moving something. The Branch Pres comes in to the room and asks for any strong volunteers. Out of 6 guys, only one raised his hand.

Why, you ask? Because they all know that their skills do not lie in lifting things. They know they are scrawny.

It made me sad.

That was a few months ago. I was hoping things might get better, but these past three days proved to me that it most certainly will not get better, and that it's nevah gonna happen.

Christmas Time Is Here

Last Saturday, one of the stakes in Chicagoland had a movie night. We all met at a theater downtown, and watched A Christmas Carol. You know, the newish one that was shown in 3D. Well, afterward we walked up Michigan Ave, and ended at Ghirardelli's. Well, I spotted a chocolate croissant, the kind Hope and I had been looking for since we met each other. Searching for chocolate croissants was actually the first thing we did together. So we bought a croissant, and it was truly delicious and I think the First Christmas Miracle of the season. 

We also stopped for a pic with the big tree in front of the John Hancock building. I liked how blue it looked from far away. It doesn't look so blue in this picture however.  

I've always thought that the biggest trial in my life might be to have children who are allergic to normal food. I've given this a lot of thought, and I think that is the thing that would cause me the most trouble. Well, that night we met a guy who was severely allergic to peanuts and some metals. And then it hit me: Could my biggest trial in life be to marry a man with food allergies? That sounds terrible! And what if our children were also allergic to everything? It would be a huge trial, that's for sure. 

China Town and Kozlareks

I rarely sit around. Okay, that's a lie, I sit around whenever possible, and sometimes even when it's not possible. But even though I love the sitting, I find myself on adventures. And somehow, I found myself on an adventure to Chinatown with Sandy, and Branch President and Sister Kozlarek. 

We did what you do in Chinatown: walk around, go in stores, make jokes about the dried wares, and eat Chinese food. 

I surprisingly had a lot of fun (I say surprising because I don't usually hang out with my Branch Pres and his wife) and we joked and joked and joked and joked, and then they took us out to lunch, which was amazing. 

Oh, and we also found out that Pres K and I are both of the Year of the Rat, which really clears things up. And Sister K, in all her Sister K-ness, looked at all the different years, and wrote down which years were compatible with Sandy and I, to be looked up in the branch directory to better find us husbands. 

The Night Before Thanksgiving

According to the VDG's, the night before Thanksgiving is the TRUE start of the holiday season, because it ushers in the holiday festivities. (I hope you celebrated accordingly.) The VDG's are a couple from my branch presidency. They are 1) Some of my biggest fans, 2) Hilarious, 3) Talented, 4) Huge Old Movie Buffs. Tonight was a viewing of If I Had A Million at the old theater down the street from me. They were of course going to attend, and they invited me as they always do.

As we were walking down the street after the movie, we were discussing the plans for Thanksgiving Dinner that they were hosting tomorrow. They have invited all the lonely singles. Turns out their last head count was somewhere around 26. Twenty-Six?! That's crazy. It was also mentioned that Sister VDG's nephew would be there. And he's single! And 28. No, 29. No, 28. (It was undetermined.) Anyway,  he is apparently very good looking, and oh, has been on Jeopardy a few times. He should be arriving at the VDG's in a few hours, and will be helping set up chairs before dinner.

So, what do you think? Should I arrive early and flirt? I mean, help set up?

Break Your Heart, Nice and Pretty

If we get married, can this be our wedding song? 

Forgot

I forgot a majorly cool part about my birthday: my cake.
One time, my roommate said something about how she would never fall for a certain line that we had heard about. And i said, Not even if he was your husband and said it like this, and then i changed to a different voice. Since then i have made up voices for all of my roommates future hubands, to use when the need arises, and they have one for mine.

Up until now i had no idea what mine looked like. But now that i know, i can be on the look out. If any of you have seen a man with brown hair, cool sideburns, big ears, chocolate nose and uneven skin, please let me know. He may be my husband.