Monday, September 20, 2010

My Worst Fear

I have an issue with milk. It creeps me out. Milk is never an acceptable beverage choice. It is too fickle. It is too shady. It goes bad too quickly. Sour milk is so life-altering that I've had thoughts of encouraging the government to punish criminals by forcing them to drink rotten milk. That will show 'em to obey the law!

My first experience with sour milk happened after my brothers moved out of the house. I went to the fridge, poured it into my cereal, and took a bite. It was horrific. I had never experienced anything so terrible. After freaking out and reeling out of control, I discussed with the family regarding the changing milk needs, and we came to a good solution.

When I moved out of the house for the first time, I would buy my milk in half gallon installments. In general, this system would work out really well. There was only one instance where my milk went bad before I could finish it, but my nose caught on before my taste buds did, and no harm was done.

Since moving out of my parents house (again) I have reverted back to my old half gallon ways. At the store I purchase the milk at the back of the queue, thinking that it is the freshest.

This morning something terrible happened. I poured rotten milk all over my Strawberry Mini-Wheats and proceeded to eat a mouthful. It was so nastifras that I almost threw up. It was possibly the worst thing I had ever experienced in my entire life.

I think it's time to find a milk alternative.

5 comments:

Marissa said...

Yuck! I'm sorry. That is the worst. You never have to worry about that at our house. We go through at least 2 gallons a week, sometimes 3.

Liji and Christina Waite said...

I opened up one of those small box milks at work one time(it was chocolate by the way) and took a big ol' gulp. At once I noticed something was terribly wrong but couldn't quite make out what was happening; I mean I was feeling large chunks in my mouth that just shouldn't be there when your drinking milk. Well, by that point I figured it out and was so super close to throwing up as I ran to the trash can (trying to remain calm and graceful, considering all of my co-workers were watching). So yep, pretty much you just can't ever risk drinking milk without smelling it first; especially if it's from the boxes where you can't see the chunks inside. Thanks for the reminder Myriah:)

Tara said...

M-dogg...I think it's time to consider soy...it has a very long shelf life and after 6 years of eating it I can honestly say I think it's great on cereal. :)

Wade said...

Sis- Remember your dad drinks Rice milk - yum-yum

Myriah said...

DAD! Your very first Blogger comment! I'm so proud of you!