I've been making this crazy effort to be more social. I don't mean that my effort is crazy, I mean that it is a crazy idea to think that if I become more social, I will meet more people, which will open me up to more opportunities, which will lead to a man who is really cool, funny, and taller than me who wants to date me.
For example, I have started going to FHE.
We were all sitting in a circle, waiting for things to begin, and I was suffering through a conversation about the Soviet Union and the Berlin Wall. As you know, if there is anything lovely, of good report or praiseworthy, I will take scrupulous notes to share with my dear friends and family later.
But there was nothing. Just people nerding out on the Soviet Union. And, unfortunately, that just isn't my cup of tea. It does not set my heart aflutter. I find it... boring.
I'm in a wasteland.
I got back from FHE tonight, looked at Nelly and said, "I'm never getting married."
I told her my Soviet Union/Berlin Wall/Historical woes, and she said, "You can get an information app or something for your phone next time."
"Uh, the issue is not keeping up with the topic, the issue is my severe lack of interest in joining the conversation."
The lack of interest was so intense that I contemplated leaving before FHE had even begun. I had this feeling like I needed to get out immediately or I would hate myself for the next 12 hours. It's this horrible panic attack that happens when things get too nerdy.
Anyway, another example:
A few months ago I was at an FHE at my Branch President's house. They had recently moved in, and needed help moving something. The Branch Pres comes in to the room and asks for any strong volunteers. Out of 6 guys, only one raised his hand.
Why, you ask? Because they all know that their skills do not lie in lifting things. They know they are scrawny.
It made me sad.
That was a few months ago. I was hoping things might get better, but these past three days proved to me that it most certainly will not get better, and that it's nevah gonna happen.