The Realization of Hottness

I have a hard time recognizing exceptionally Hott people. I'm terrible at it.

So, let's discuss Hottness. All I know is that it comes in two types: male and female.

Male Hottness

At work I will finish helping a male customer, the male customer will leave, and my female co-workers will say something like, "Wow, he was soooooooooooooo good looking." And then they will sigh and shake their heads like they can't believe such a specimen was within their gaze for even that short while.

They will comment on a person's fineness, and I will say, "What?! He was?! Crap! I missed it again!" and then will frantically look out the window in hope to catch a glimpse of this person. If I do find the man, I quickly try to figure out what it is that makes him so fine, and I usually have no idea or can only see the back of his head.

When my co-workers tell me someone is good looking, I try to memorize their features so I might be able to recognize a similar pattern in the future. So far this isn't working. I still have no idea what makes someone visually appealing. Visually Hott, I mean. I'm not talking about regularly good looking people. I'm talking about the thing that makes my co-workers turn red, get nervous, and have a hard time speaking. That evasive Hottness.


Female Hottness

I have no idea.

Female friends may mention that someone is, "So pretty," "absolutely beautiful" or the like, and I won't know what to say. I don't agree, because I feel like I can't acurately judge them. So, when asked for my opinion I say, "Uhh...sure..." which means I'm a jerk, or completely insecure about myself as I am unable to recognize when someone is obviously better looking. These sorts of things never turn out well.

The same thing occurs when males comment on the attractive level of a female. I'm usually left speechless.


So, what then?

What do I recognize, then? In both men and women I recognize cleanliness. Are they taking care of themselves? Are they showered?

As a bit of a side-note, let's talk about tattoos. If a female has a tattoo, I usually just think they are dirty. (I'm not talking chlamydia dirty--although I would know about that--I'm talking dirt dirty.) I would see a tattooed female and think, "What's with the smudge of dirt on her neck and behind her ear? Oh.... it's a tattoo... she put that there....okay." But, I am able to recognize a tattoo as a tattoo if it's on a man. Go figure.

Right, anyway, in females, I also notice if they appear to have gotten ready for the day. I can appreciate someone who spent time on her hair, outfit and makeup. I know that can be hard some times, but I think it is an important factor in the presentation of self. So, I notice those things, but I have no idea if that makes them Hott.


Sigh.

I think it will be an unending journey into the realization of Hott.